Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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