I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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