Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i just had sex bonerless
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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