She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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