just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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