South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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