A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
