I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize