Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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