Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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