Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You are the jesus of drinking
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
