I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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