No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
