If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
