I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
