THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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