Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
