I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
