I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
