Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
