Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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