Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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