already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
