Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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