i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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