so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i now understand why vodka
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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