Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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