I think I died a long time ago.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
