i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
