It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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