erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
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