You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
