i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
