Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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