Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She bit a glass in half.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
