Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
