I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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