So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
