I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
