Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
