Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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