That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
