called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
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