Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
