11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
