either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
foreskin is a definite game changer
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
