Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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