Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
