My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
