Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
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