She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
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I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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