Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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