hell yes lets make some ravioli
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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