Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I woke up under a house in Key West
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
