She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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