dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
