i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
