Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
