I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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