My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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