im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
