Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
