I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
