It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
