I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
She said her name was "party"
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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