so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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